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Joke of the Day

"I'll tell you what i know about dwarves Very little. Its okay, i can say that. They look up to me."

"[table of 6 year olds in lab coats] How are we supposed to find a cure for cooties if we *bangs fist on table* CAN'T EVEN FIND WALDO?!"

"Some people don't like awkward silences but I do because that's when I think about Thundercats."

"What did the Mexican firefighter name his sons? Jose and Hose B"

"Whats the best time to go to the dentist? 4:30pm It let's you out of work a bit early with a valid excuse"

"What does a priest get when he wants pussy? Nun."

"I fucked an Asian in an elevator. It was Wong on so many levels."

"He died doing what he loved: telling me I'm overreacting."

"Every single person my age... ...is 43."

"that moment when you and the driver next to you catch each other picking your noses and you both nod like you're in a secret club."