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Joke of the Day
"How would you feel if you were raped for every rape joke you made? Sore"
Next Joke
"People who leave voicemails are probably the same people who will wait in line to have someone bag their stuff when self-checkout is free."
"I wish my parents ran when they heard The Rolling Stones. Now they're stuck under a pile of rocks."
"*goes 100mph in Prius *gets pulled over by police Cop: HOW"
"How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2, but how do you get them in there?"
"What concert only costs 45 cents? 50 cent featuring Nickelback."
"I hope Death is a feminist. That way nothing will ever change."
"Holding down the power button until my device turns off feels like strangling someone until they stop breathing. Except I usually hope my device turns back on."
"Santa goes to Ethiopia. Starving kid says in his winding breath: *Santa presents...!* Santa says: **Santa doesn't gift children who doesn't eat properly!**"
"I thought Los Angeles seemed unusually hot, but turned out the devil is Canadian. ""Welcome to Hell, aye."""