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Joke of the Day
"I hope Death is a feminist. That way nothing will ever change."
Next Joke
"I served 2 years in Iraq Until they shut down the restaurant"
"Chuck Norris Joke. Why does Mona Lisa smiling? The Mona Lisa is smiling because Chuck Norris let her live."
"""Can you cook dinner tonight?"" Can't. New meds say I can't operate any heavy machinery and that stove doesn't look light"
"Someday future archaeologists are going to dig up Disney World and think it was some bizarre mouse-worshiping kingdom."
"4:*calls thing wrong name Me:*corrects him 4:*repeats wrong name Me:*corrects him 4:*maintains eye contact and repeats wrong name slowly"
"Why did the dog run into the corner every time the door bell rang? because he is a Boxer"
"Have manufacturers of picket fences ever gone on strike? Because the irony would be awesome. Take your time, I'll wait."
"What do you call a piano composer that smokes? Tarcoughski"
"*pushes vending machine over NO YOU'RE OUT OF ORDER!"