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Joke of the Day

"iOS 6 to present black screen with a big blinking ""NO!"" anytime someone tries to shoot video in portrait mode."

"Took the shell off my racing snail to see if I could make it go faster... Just made it a bit sluggish."

"They say in life expect the unexpected'. So I did, and f*ck all happened. I wasn't expecting that."

"what did the rapman say to other rapman yo tony where did you get that fresh salami?"

"What do they call a dog in Iraq? A Shia pet. *friend of mine came up with this and was pretty proud of himself"

"""There's a sleeping person. Let's go ask it questions."" Children"

"The boy is putting whipped cream on the cat. I think he may have overheard a conversation he didn't understand quite so well."

"So I just had a very awkward conversation with a bulimic over lunch. It's safe to say; that didn't go down very well."

"What type of wood is the most expensive? Hollywood! (Made this up while i was doing a project.)"

"Arguing with your parents is like trying to explain how to download music from iTunes to a plant."