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Joke of the Day

"Trump wants to ban Muslims but if we learned anything from Prohibition it's that people will just make Muslims in their bathtubs."

"Wow my pants are really loose today *skips to the nearest vending machine*"

"Q: What do you get when you cross a caterpillar and a parrot? A: A walkie-talkie."

"What is the first question you ask a baby cow, after its gotten over an illness? How are you vealing?"

"Roses are red, violets are blue I'm schizophrenic, and so am I"

"How many kids with ADD does it take to change a lightbulb? Hey, wanna go ride bikes?"

"I'm starting a support group for men who have difficulty ejaculating Let us know if you can't come"

"Why don't more dinosaurs join the police force? They can't hide behind billboards."

"What's the difference between an oral and anal thermometer? The taste"

"Q: Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? A: Because she was a woman."