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Joke of the Day

"Put the punchline in the title How do you spoil a joke?"

"what do you call an alligator in a vest? An Investigator"

"Go to work tomorrow with a new attitude. Be positive! Communicate! Hide when real work comes!"

"I don't understand the trend of Chinese restaurants with ""NO MSG!"" signs. Why would I eat somewhere that I can't send texts?"

"I wonder if Captain America ever borrows money from Captain China."

"I invented papaya flavored cream cheese. I call it ""Pap Schmear""."

"I made a belt, entirely composed of watches It was a waist of time"

"You shouldn't legally be allowed to buy Cool Ranch Doritos unless you pay for it with change while stoned at a gas station"

"What happened to the horse that ate a duracell battery? He went on furlong-er."

"Q: Why didn't Intel call the Pentium the 586? A: Because they added 486 and 100 on the first Pentium and got 585.999983605."