207525

Joke of the Day

"Give a man a fish, and he'll ask for a lemon; teach a man to fish and he'll leave work early on Fridays."

"Why did the music industry talent scout take a course in game programming? He thought it would help him with his hit detection."

"What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter."

"I dreamed about drowning in an ocean made out of orange soda last night It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea."

"A Buddhist Monk walks up to a hot dog stand... ...and says ""make me one with everything."""

"Got pulled over tonight. Cop asked if I had any weapons. I showed him my guns. He laughed."

"Did you hear how the deaf electrician asked his friend to repeat what he said? Watt?"

"What do you get when you cross a duck and a pig? A media circus that focuses on the morals and ethics of genetic engineering."

"Me: Can I pet your dog? Stranger: sure M: one more time S: uh, ok M: again S: maybe you should get your own M: pet S: we have to go M: mine"

"If all the corner pieces of a cake are gone, I calmly pull the emergency icing out of my purse & frost the edges of an inside piece."