207519

Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the weightlifter who had a hole-in-one? He paid for the drinks all around with his barbell."

"How long do I microwave these turtles before I can teach them karate?"

"The bartender says... ""We don't serve tachyons here."" A tachyon walks into a bar."

"What do they teach in ISIS business school? Execution is everything."

"I bet that TV in hell consists only of Progressive and sad animal commercials."

"I feel guilty about being Asian because I didn't start playing the violin since I was born."

"Why does a space rock taste better than an Earth rock? Because it's a little meteor."

"Lorena Bobbit has died in a tragic car accident. Some dick cut her off."

"I'll always remember what my uncle said before he passed on up... ""Flying houses? Talking dogs? That movie looks dumb."""

"I do an average of 6 things a day that will keep me out of heaven."