2075

Joke of the Day

"The definition of mixed emotions... My mother-in-law driving of a cliff in my new car"

"So, a snake walks into a bar.... And the bartender asks in surprise ""how'd you do that?!"""

"How fast can Klingon's run? About Warf speed. My mom made this joke up last night at a bbq party. She likes to think she is funnier on holidays. Thanks, Mom."

"I'm not lazy, I'm on energy saving mode."

"A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide The librarian says ""fuck off, you won't bring it back"""

"if we're on a date and you're rude to the waiter I'd be like holy shit I'm on a date"

"[guy from the 50s arrives in a time machine] ""Who's president?"" Barack Obama ""Braco? Sounds Mexican"" Nope ""Whew"" You might want to sit down"

"I left my house for a five-mile-run this morning. But when I got a block away, I had to turn around and go back because I forgot something. I forgot I can't run five miles."

"Q: Where do hamburgers go to dance? A: To a meatball."

"Did you hear about the Mexican train robber? He really had loco-motives."