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Joke of the Day

"Police headquarters was broken into last night. All the toilets were stolen. Investigators have nothing to go on."

"How do you tell the sex of an ant? Put it in a bucket of water. If it sinks you have a girl ant but if it floats you have a buoyant."

"What do, you call a handicapped person with a, vasectomy? A seedless, vegetable."

"What's a down-side of being a paedophile? You have to go to bed early."

"Football player Michael Sam got picked up by the Cowboys... He's the first openly gay cowboy since Jake Gyllenhaal in Brokeback Mountain."

"I'm not saying the police are over zealous but I was arrested yesterday for singing ""come on baby light my fire."" They said it was inflammatory."

"GOD: I designed this world with a purpose, why did u change everything PEOPLE: We [pug walks by] GOD: What...the HELL...is that"

"Jews rated their trip to auschwitz It was one star"

"Yes officer, I did hit a pedestrian, but instead of dwelling on that why not focus on how many I've missed?"

"No matter how hard you try to push that envelope It will still be stationery. ^edit: ^spelling..."