207423

Joke of the Day

"In Tesla Motors you... Don't drive car, car drives you."

"These cat babies are straight up gangsta. I'm going to name them all after Friends characters. The one I hate will be Ross."

"What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping Tom? One snatches watches..."

"NSFW Why was the guitar teacher arrested? He got caught fingering a minor"

"Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere"

"Why being called handsome is an insult When you have a 3 way, it's called a threesome When you have a 2 way, it's called a twosome When you have a 1 way, it's called a handsome"

"If an Iron Man movie was made with Magneto as the villain, what would its title be? Stop hitting yourself."

"I've learnt a lot from the movies over the years, such as how to count using Roman numerals... I, II, III, IV, V, Balboa."

"Why do zoos pay for simian liability insurance? To avoid monkey suits"

"Give a man a cow, and he eats for a day. Teach a man to cow, and you've probably invented some crazy new dance called the cow'."