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Joke of the Day
"the opposite of a charles manson is a nicole kidman"
Next Joke
"""Don't fret."" -Guitar that apparently doesn't want to be played"
"The ancient Egyptians loved cat videos."
"pull a prank on your boss by not showing up to work ever again, instant classic"
"Went to a skipping competition I didn't really want to, but I got roped in"
"My wife and I went to see a realtor. ""Have you guys considered moving houses?"" he asked. I said, ""No, we don't like caravans."""
"Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs? So people don't mistake them for feminists."
"I have made nothing but horrible decisions ever since I had my wisdom teeth taken out."
"Two atoms walked out of a bar. One turned to the other one and said, ""we've got to go back in there, I left an electron"" The other one asked, ""Are you sure?"" He replied, ""Yes, I'm positive"""
"Why does Donald Trump want classical music at his inauguration? He wants to grab them by Debussy."