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Joke of the Day

"Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."

"Born free, taxed to death."

"eer booze and fun!' 'Q: What did the bartender say to the jumper cables when they walked into the bar? A: Ok you 2 dont start anything"

"Oh, a BEAR hug. *starts putting clothes back on*"

"Did you hear about the chocolate bar burglar?! The police are trying to catch him, but he's always got a few Twix up his sleeve!"

"My sister didn't believe me when I said I could drive spaghetti. You should have seen her face as I drove pasta."

"If I've learned anything from Twitter, it's that you shouldn't be learning on Twitter."

"Why do men like breasts so much? They prove men can concentrate on two things at once."

"He says I'm cute when I'm mad. Well he has no idea of how gorgeous I can be."

"What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe? Roberto"