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Joke of the Day
"If you are going to Taco Bell for a diet, you have a bigger problem than your weight."
Next Joke
"It would have been way more anticlimactic if the video game had been called ""Where in the World is Carmen? San Diego."""
"[awesome life of caterpillar] 1) all I do is eat, awesome 2) time to sleep in this cozy bag, awesome 3) *wakes up*OMG I CAN FLY NOW, AWESOME"
"Class action lawsuits are like lottery tickets for people who complain a lot."
"Your name is Jeff with a G? Jeffg? Ok"
"Where do you find a birthday present for a cat? In a cat-alogue!"
"Why did the hipster burn his tongue drinking tea? Because he didn't wait for it to be cool."
"Her: ""My baby paints with her food because she's artistic."" Me: ""That or your baby paints with her food because she's a goddamn baby."""
"What's the best thing about dating a homeless girl? You can drop her off anywhere."
"Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student? Because education pays off in the long run!"