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Joke of the Day

"Once you go black, you can always go back to having coffee with milk, there's really no set in stone rules here."

"Whenever I watch a home invasion thriller, I'm mostly terrified by how I'll never be able to afford to own a home."

"What do I have in common with neutrinos ? We're both constantly penetrating your mom"

"If only Africa had more mosquito nets... then every year we could save millions of mosquitos dying needlessly of aids."

"Rene Descartes walks into a bar. . . . . .and orders a beer. When he finishes is, the barkeep asks ""Have another?"" Descartes replies ""I think not."" . . .and POOF. He vanishes."

"I woke up to find.. the train I was on had turned into a Pencil. I didn't try to use the toilet though because your not meant to go whilst the train's stationary."

"What's a knife's favorite dessert? Slice cream."

"How can people get engaged after dating less than a year? You haven't seen their fall wardrobe yet and tbh it could be a deal breaker"

"I believe in karma which means I can do bad things to people all day long and just assume they deserve it."

"Police Officer: ""Turn around!"" Me: *sings* ""Every every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round..."""