92750

Joke of the Day

"Whenever I watch a home invasion thriller, I'm mostly terrified by how I'll never be able to afford to own a home."

"Doctor Doctor I think I'm a rubber band Why don't you stretch yourself out on the couch there and tell me all about it!"

"I accidentally spilled my bottle of rum on the floor. I was let down because I thought I'd be the one getting wasted."

"I love when football players put their t-shirts over their shoulder pads because they look like business women from the 80s."

"Why is the network engineer sad? Because his career is in bits."

"I cleaned my fan today The difference it made just blew me away..."

"The council have started asking people what they think of their plans to build a wind turbine off the local coastline. I'm not a big fan."

"What color was the Dallas shooters eyes? Blue. One blue this way and one blue that way."

"4-year-old: *looks at our pig* Which pig is she? Me: What do you mean? 4: Is her house made of bricks or sticks?"

"What do you call a Mexican who has his Mondeo stolen? Carlos"