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Joke of the Day

"The world is so full of double standards... A woman tris to sleep with every guy she sees and she's a slut. I try to do that and all of the sudden I'm 'gay' and not allowed in Toys 'R' Us anymore."

"It doesn't bother me when people tell me my dick is a joke. But I love it when they can take a joke."

"Nothing freaks me out like when I'm ordering from a Chinese restaurant and I ask ""What kind of meat is that?"" and they answer ""yes"""

"Why can't a bike stand on its own? Because it's two tired. Edit: added ""because""."

"What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick."

"I bought a book on capitalism... but then returned it because some of the letters were in lower-case."

"A new report indicates Brazilians no longer support the 2016 Olympics They're too busy raising the team for the 2036 Special Olympics."

"I told god a Holocaust joke. He didn't laugh. after a moment of awkward silence, I said: ""Well I guess you should have been there""."

"I'd like to... I'd like to buy a new boomerang please. Also can you tell me how to throw the old one away?"

"I've been with my girlfriend for 5 years... .... so her dad was very surprised when I proposed. He had no idea I was gay."