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Joke of the Day

"Nothing freaks me out like when I'm ordering from a Chinese restaurant and I ask ""What kind of meat is that?"" and they answer ""yes"""

"I raped a blind woman the other day. She didn't see me coming."

"So here I am in this internet cafe... ...with the biggest fucking nigger I've ever seen reading every word I ty"

"Haters gonna hate. Tweeters gonna tweet. It's actually pretty obvious that verbs are performed by their respective nouns."

"What do you do when your lawnmower stops working? Deport him"

"Why couldnt Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman."

"What do Angels fans and gay men both have in common? They both love Pujols"

"After 1am you can sit back and relax because the bad decisions pretty much make themselves."

"A Dream Job I was interviewed today by a Far East Sultan to be a eunuch to guard his harem of 365 women. What an ideal career!! Sadly, the Sultan told me I wasn't cut out for the job."

"How many Christian women does it take to change a lightbulb? nun"