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Joke of the Day

"So a guy calls into work and says, ""I can't come in today, I'm seeing spots."" ""Have you seen a doctor?"" ""No, just the spots."""

"During sex it's perfectly fine to say ""yeah"", ""yes"", and ""oh yes"" but how awkward would it be if someone kept screaming ""yep"""

"*Reads about a Salmonella outbreak on lettuce -NEVER eats Salad again! *Reads about the dangers of Alcohol poisoning -NEVER reads again!"

"Doctor Doctor what did the x-ray of my head show? Absolutely nothing!"

"If you really think about it. Its kind of weird ""yoga pants"" are worn so much. That's like a guy wearing baseball pants to go get groceries"

"You can lead Narcissus to water..."

"Yo mama so poor when she found a penny on the ground she thought she won the lottery"

"Australians don't have sex. Australians mate."

"Why did the elephant take off his socks at the golf course? He got a hole in one."

"What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his viagra? ""The erection is rigged!"""