207099

Joke of the Day

"What Do You Call Two Trains Crossing A Road? A Bad City Planner!"

"i dont give a frick about your car's horse power i want to know about its other powers lets start with duck power"

"I'm writing a book about introverts. It's not coming out any time soon."

"What do you call a black person who smokes? An e-cigger. I'm going to hell for thinking of this."

"[at wine tasting] Hmm yes, very good. a slight smokey undertone. ""Sir, you just put your cigarette in your wine"" Strong smokey undertone"

"[at airport] TSA: sir, you've been randomly chosen for a cavity search. ME: that's cool i didn't know my flight included a dental cleaning"

"ME: *3D prints a girlfriend* Hey baby 3D Girlfriend: *3D prints a boyfriend* I have a boyfriend"

"About an actress. Did you hear about that actress who killed her husband? Reese something... Witherspoon? No Witherknife."

"[Spelling Bee] Your word is palindrome ""Can you use it in a sentence?"" Go hang a salami I'm a lasagna hog."

"You know how asparagus makes your pee smell? Well, I just heard from my father for the first time in 14 years."