207099

Joke of the Day

"What Do You Call Two Trains Crossing A Road? A Bad City Planner!"

"[2 friends fighting at Denny's] Chicken: *gritting teeth* I'll have the bacon Pig: *staring down the chicken* And I'll be having the EGGS!"

"What's all pent-up and missing a cunt? Chelsea Manning."

"What happens if I put a vial in another vial and then in another vial? It doesn't matter."

"Clinton's blue firewall... About as secure as her private email server."

"Happy 48th B'day Quentin Tarantino. Stuck for a gift? Start his party with lots of boring conversation and then suddenly kill everyone"

"So you need Andy Reid to take you to the airport for an international flight... lol you didn't learn anything from 2004?"

"TIL 6.7 billion people are the minority By arrogant ignorant Americans."

"My pubic hair trimming business will limit itself to female customers for the first few months. I'm new to this, so I don't want to go nuts right away."

"Whenever I have a one night stand, I always use protection. A fake name and a fake number."