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Joke of the Day

"For maximum attention, nothing beats a good mistake."

"Happy 1 month anniversary to the 37 browser tabs I have open."

"Dear people who question why girls go to the bathroom together, Hermoine went alone and got attacked by a troll."

"When someone's all, ""Words cannot begin to describe ..."" I'm all YES THEY CAN YOU HAVE A LIMITED VOCABULARY."

"If I'm ever in a coma, don't try to wake me. I'm doing what I love."

"How far can you walk into the forest? Halfway, when you walk further then you will walk out of the forest! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH"

"I tried inventing a belt with a clock on it... It was a waist of time"

"Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun."

"I highly doubt that Monica Lewinsky will support Hillary in 2016. I mean, the last time a Clinton was a president, it left a really bad taste in her mouth."

"After watching ""Breaking Bad"" and the VMAs in the same night, I think I'd rather my kid be a meth dealer than a musician."