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Joke of the Day

"welcome back to guitar 101 everybody. what now, steve? uh, hey. are you gonna make the 'snapped my g-string' joke? no *steve leaves*"

"Change is inevitable... Except from vending machines"

"What do you do when your nose goes on strike? Pick it! (Picket)"

"What did you hear about the tree who was in love? He pined everyday."

"Q. What do a hurricane a tornado and a redneck divorce all have in common? A. Someone's going to lose their trailer..."

"6.9 A good time interrupted by a period"

"Marriage is a three ring circus... ...first there is the engagement ring, then the wedding ring and then comes the suffering."

"Maybe the seventh time around I'll feel different about finding something I want to eat if I glance in the fridge just once more."

"I used to think an ocean of soda existed. Turns out it was just Fanta sea."

"Got an extension cord, and moved the microwave right into bed with me. This 2015 is looking like a good one already."