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Joke of the Day

"Wait a minute... Computer! Freeze this porn video! Now, zoom in 900%. Enhance... Enhance... Rotate 360 ... There! NO WEDDING RINGS!"

"Joke's on you skinny people, my iPad fits just fine in my back pocket."

"Classic How do you make a Ice Cream man sad? - - - - - - Kill his family."

"Ladies, call me Adobe Updater, because I nag you at least once a week and never seem to work"

"How many people live in South America? A Brazilian."

"Hillary Clinton's recent case of pneumonia just goes to show There's only one candidate who can dodge a draft."

"I'm trying to finish writing a script for a porno movie, but there are just too many holes in the plot."

"Never have phone sex You'll catch hearing-aids"

"I found a place where recycling rate is 98% Reddit."

"Finals in college are a lot like plastic surgery walk in with A's and leave with D's."