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Joke of the Day
"Joke's on you skinny people, my iPad fits just fine in my back pocket."
Next Joke
"What did the grapes say to their parents after they put them into a nursing home? Thanks for raisin us"
"scared the postman i scared the postman today by showing up to the door completely naked. im not sure what scared him more, the fact that i was naked, or that i knew where he lived"
"Raccoons are like hobos, they live outside plus they don't like being shaved while they're eating."
"My dad's reasoning for wearing sandals to Church Jesus wore sandals too."
"What has 12 hands, 12 legs, and 12 eyes? 12 pirates."
"I would tell a mexican joke.. I would tell a Mexican joke but that would be crossing the border.."
"My son sounds like a goat when he cries. He's just a little kid."
"[Dollar Store Interview] ""What are your qualifications?"" [Slides over a dollar] ""Cashier job is yours"" [Slides $2] ""Welcome to Management"""
"The FDA has approved a new camera that can be swallowed so that doctors can look at the inside of their patients' bodies. So to answer your question: Yes, selfies CAN get worse."