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Joke of the Day

"Why does Pinnochio always get an erection when he's in a forest? Because he has a woodpecker!"

"Got drunk and did my taxes, i am getting back 1 zillion dollars, 2 slaves, and somehow the state of Rhode Island, this can't be right."

"My favorite part of football is when players ""look to God."" Because He's all, ""I can't do shit for the Middle East but I'm rooting for YOU."""

"Why did the chicken kill himself To get to the other side"

"Happy ending massages don't count as cheating... Women pay to have their cars washed for the same reasons. It takes too long, my arm gets tired, and I get my gym shorts all wet."

"I told my girlfriend that brown rice was just white rice with a criminal record... ...she called me a riceist"

"You can reuse a condom... you just need to shake the fuck out of it."

"Why do Butchers don't risk it all in life? Because the Steaks are too high."

"What does a girl who loves giving head eat for breakfast? scrotemeal"

"Bathrooms are international You're Russian to it, European while you're in there, and then ya Finnish."