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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between hanging with friends and jacking it on the toilet? One means you're taking a load off and shooting the shit, the other is taking a shit and shooting a load off."

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"[DEATH ROW] WARDEN: Last meal? CON: Just a glass of lemonade please *Drinks lemonade/Burps* WARDEN: Pardon [CON WALKS FREE] W: SHIT"
"A book fell on my head today... I've only got my shelf to blame."
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"My lesbian friends got me a Rolex for my birthday. I don't think they understood when I said ""I wanna watch."""
"Hair so long she accidentally flushed herself down the toilet"