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Joke of the Day

"My lesbian friends got me a Rolex for my birthday. I don't think they understood when I said ""I wanna watch."""

"I just had to fire my Korean housekeeper... ...She kept trying to wok the dog."

"Wife: Nothing you could say could convince me that cockroaches aren't the worst. Me: Wall-E's friend was a cockroach. Wife: Except that."

"How can you tell you're at a gay Bar-B-Que? All the hot dogs taste like shit...."

"What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? Q: What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? A: [Sound effect - - gagging noises]"

"I love when couples get sick together because that's what people deserve for being happy."

"My friend keeps saying ""cheer up dude it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water"" I'm sure he means well..."

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship."

"What's the difference between the US and Russian Presidents? US presidents get shot while Russian presidents take shots."

"What did the necropheliac say to her boyfriend? Did rigor mortis just set in, or are you just happy to see me? Edit: I'm an idiot"