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Joke of the Day

"""How about we go with a gerund, but, like, maybe just half a gerund."" - How ING Bank got its name"

"What's big and green and sits in the corner? The Incredible Sulk!"

"A 9 year old patient in the hospital i work at had to have his leg amputated. He asked the doctor ""will my leg ever grow back?"" The Doctor replied ""sorry Johnny, you only limb once"""

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Mafia Victim Barbie ...feet set in cement--she really sinks!"

"What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before getting married? Feyonce"

"I had skylights installed at my place last night and I don't get why the people who live upstairs aren't okay with this."

"Q: Where do fleas go to surf? A: To the microwave."

"A wedding is like inviting your family and friends to the dock to watch you leave England on the Titanic."

"""Have you seen the film constipated?"" ""No?"" ""Has it come out yet?"""

"Jesus and Mohammad are debating religion. Jesus, with a smug smile, says: ""My faith can move the tallest of mountains."" Mohammad confidently replies: ""How well does it do with skyscrapers, brotha?"""