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Joke of the Day

"Why did the vegetable kill himself? He didn't carrot all."

"Scientists have shown that putting the phrase ""Scientists have shown"" in front of anything will make people read it."

"I played tennis with a eunuch once... No competition, the balls were in my court."

"""Do you come here often"", she asked... ""No, usually in my belly button"", I replied."

"My girlfriend just got a job as a circumcision doctor The base pay isn't the best but boy does she get a lot of tips!"

"Look... don't end your presentation with ""Are there any questions?"" & then get all pissy when I ask if you can ride a unicycle."

"I put my phone on airplane mode. Now I can't find it."

"Four is equal to five Theorem: 4 = 5 Proof: -20 = -20 16 - 36 = 25 - 45 4^2 - 9*4 = 5^2 - 9*5 4^2 - 9*4 + 81/4 = 5^2 - 9*5 + 81/4 (4 - 9/2)^2 = (5 - 9/2)^2 4 - 9/2 = 5 - 9/2 4 = 5"

"When does an astronaut eat his favourite meal? At launch time."

"If there was a way to read a woman's mind...I'm still not sure I'd want too...I hate shoes, shopping, gossip & I already know I'm annoying."