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Joke of the Day

"If there was a way to read a woman's mind...I'm still not sure I'd want too...I hate shoes, shopping, gossip & I already know I'm annoying."

"My son came home from school in tears. ""My girlfriend slept with my best friend,"" he said. I said, ""That's very flattering, I never knew I was your best friend."""

"What do you get when you cross a cow with an octopus? Your funding revoked by the ethics board."

"I was redditing while on the toilet when... I almost dropped my phone..... literally scared the shit out of me"

"Won't do that again Got arrested at the airport last week. Apparently, security doesn't appreciate it when you call ""shotgun"" before boarding a plane."

"Have you heard Julian Assange never spends more than 20 seconds in the restroom? Yeah, he's infamous for his quickieleaks."

"I bet the Al Qaeda recruiting video is just footage of Americans waiting in line for cupcakes."

"Conjunctivitis.com Now that's a site for sore eyes."

"I farted on the bus today and four people turned around I felt like I was on The Voice"

"Q: Why did it take the blonde a whole week to wash three basement windows? A: It took her six days just to dig the holes to put the ladder in."