206467

Joke of the Day

"What did the Jewish paedophile say to the kid. Hey kid, you wanna buy some candy?"

"I recently bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping ever since."

"What do you call four Mexicans in quick sand? Cuatro sinko"

"Dad: Whadya got there son? Son: Soy milk. Dad: Hola milk, soy tu padre."

"MOBSTER: *cracks knuckles* ME: that supposed to intimidate me? *his fingers start to glow like glowsticks* ME: k I'm scared but thats rad"

"My daughter told me this one today and it had me in stitches. Two goldfish are in a tank... One turns to the other and says: ""You man the guns, I'll drive"""

"Rap is like a mountain. It's mostly black, but the top is white."

"After this winter I'm so excited for spring... I wet my plants"

"When improv teams ask for suggestions, I like to yell ""Learn a trade before your father cuts you off financially!"""

"Me: I heard Oxygen and Magnesium are going out. Friend: OMg!"