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Joke of the Day

"[shows jury picture of gruesome murder scene] *they all gasp* That was my initial reaction too. Those shoes with those pants?"

"They say that penis size is directly related to shoe size. Which makes the fear of being raped by a clown that much scarier."

"What is the biggest key when moving a piano up a flight of stairs? Be sharp or Be flat."

"here is a self depreciating joke. **Q: What is the difference between me and a brick?** A: Bricks get laid"

"I like to think that when Homer Simpson suffers from erectile dysfunction, he chokes his wiener and yells ""Why you little!!!!!"""

"Why did the bicycle stop moving? Because it was two-tiered."

"I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory! I only took a day off!"

"I have never met a farmer that isn't pro tractor"

"Lee: I just swallowed a fish bone! Counselor: Are you choking? Lee: No I'm serious!"

"Thursday is like your high school boyfriend. It feels good but you know something better is right around the corner."