198960

Joke of the Day

"I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory! I only took a day off!"

"Flovers Joke A man comes home with a bokay of flowers for his girlfriend and she says ""I guess I'll have to spread my legs now."" And her boyfriend asks ""Why, don't you have a vase?"""

"Some Irish feminists decided to go braless to make a statement, but one named Erin wouldn't do it. So the rest of the group got really angry and shouted at her: Erin, go braless!"

"Q: What time would it be if five elephants were chasing you? A: Five after one."

"A friend of mine just had a penis extension. And now his house looks really stupid. -Gary Delaney"

"I went to the store to get 6 cans of sprite... Ended up picking 7up"

"Not to brag, but I've satisfied every waitress that's ever served me. With just the tip."

"Did you head about the rabbi who only drank lemonade? He's an acidic Jew...."

"My favorite machine in the gym is the water fountain."

"Donald Trump's tweets are actually really entertaining if you imagine him tweeting from a gold toilet while having violent diarrhea."