198960

Joke of the Day

"I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory! I only took a day off!"

"What do you call a fight between an Illegal Immigrant and a Pedophile? Alien vs Predator"

"There are 3 types of people in this world.. ..Those who can count, and those who can't."

"Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside."

"What did the lobster do at the disco? Pulled a muscle."

"The Effects Of Using Beer To Clean A Dirty Toilet www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOwb9h20Gf8"

"""Alexa, yell at my kids to behave every 7 minutes. I'm headed to the bar."""

"Going to the toy store, pressing the ""TRY ME"" button on a toy and the fucking thing wont stop...So you just try to get the fuck out of there like nothing happened."

"My friends think I should stop telling jokes because my punchlines are always shit. Shit."

"What do you call the conversation between two birds after they've had sex? Pillowsquawk"