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Joke of the Day

"FRIEND: Don is flying in tomorrow ME: My cousin Don or Amazing Hearing Don? [I get a text] Amazing Hearing Don"

"What is a religious gorilla called? A monk-ey"

"What do you call a fish that takes a selfie? Selfish"

"Two condoms walk past a gay bar... One turns to the other and says 'Wanna go in there and get shit faced?'"

"You know how Brussels sprouts and anal sex are kinda the same?? If you're forced to have it as a kid, you probably won't like it as an adult"

"How is sex like putting on a belt? If it's not tight enough, move on to the next hole."

"What did the doctor say to the infertile Princess Bride? Inconceivable!"

"[god creating snakes] how about a sock that's angry all the time"

"A fruit truck just crashed on the highway It caused a major traffic jam."

"Is the officer from the McKinney police video... Applying for the role of Paul Blart: Mall Cop 3? That recovery off the tuck and roll was impeccable."