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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between illegal and unlawful? Unlawful is against the law, whereas illegal is a sick bird. Note: This obviously works better when told than read."

Next Joke
 
"The plural of beer is beer, which is very convenient when you are explaining to your wife why you were late coming home from work."
"[NSFW] I am no gynecologist.... But I know a cunt when I see one"
"My sister teaches 1st grade. A boy in her class had a tantrum and screamed ""I hate you!"" and she gently replied ""I know. It doesn't matter."""
"Last night I had sex for an hour and 30 seconds. I love when daylight savings time ends!"
"The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester."
"What do reindeer say before telling you a joke ? This one will sleigh you !"
"What do you call a phantom by a campfire? A toasty ghosty"
"Feminism Joke Man: So what do you want? Feminist: I want equal rights and liberties as men. Man: I couldn't agree with you more... because if I did, you would have a problem with that."
"Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead."