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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a girl that gives head in the shower? Brainwashed."

"I have an EpiPen A man lying on the roadside gave it to me as he was dying. It seemed very important to him that I have it."

"I never close my eyes in the shower because that's how murderers know when to show up and kill you."

"What do you call a lizard on drugs? A mariguana."

"If a girl stabbed me on our first date, how many days should I wait to ask her out again?"

"Yesterday, I fell down from a 10 meter ladder. Thank God I was on the third step."

"How can you lose around 10 pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head."

"Whats brown & sticky? A stick."

"If you eat a pregnant girls food, you're required to have the baby for her"

"Trampolines used to be called jumpolines Until your mother jumped on one back in 87"