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Joke of the Day

"An autistic girl asked me out today And I said yes. I guess you could say I like girls that are down for everything"

"What is the driest soda you can buy? Baking soda."

"What's the ugliest shape? An eyesoresceles triangle."

"A good thing about dating a vegan is that you could kill 2 birds with 1 stone when you buy flowers because they're also a snack for later."

"I was fooling around with my new Roomba... I guess you could call it nice, clean fun."

"Now that we're moving in together I feel it's time to fill him in on the secret I've protected him from for 5 years: Girls poop too."

"Apparently the average person has sex 365 times a year Pray for me. I may not survive the next 12 hours."

"Most girls know what they're wearing next Halloween because they saw another girl wearing it last night."

"Hillary and Trump crash in a plane, who survives? The United States"

"Why can't Canada win wars? Because they'll blow you up and then apologize."