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Joke of the Day

"Statistically speaking...(NSFW) Nine out of ten people enjoy gang rape."

"So the Pope joined twitter so he can ""Reach out to a younger generation."" He is certainly not the first Catholic to have done that."

"If I could make puppies and kittens magically appear, people would call me ""The Wizard of Awwws""."

"Have you heard about the one about suicidal procrastinator He lived a long healthy life."

"My Korean girlfriend once cooked me a pie made from scratch. I was gutted. I loved that dog. Mark Restuccia"

"How much does a moil get paid for circumcision? Ninety-nine dollars plus tips."

"Police arrested two kids yesterday. One was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one, and let the other one off."

"Mispronouncing French phrases can be a real social fox piss."

"What do vampires cross the sea in? Blood vessels."

"GF: You cant keep it. ME: But- G: Its a BEE. M: HES my FRIEND! G: Hand him over. M: No! [tearing up] I wont let you hurt Albuzz Bumbledore!"