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Joke of the Day

"Why did the brain cell go to the other side of the brain? I don't know. It hadn't really crossed my mind."

"I don't pluck my unibrow to look good, I do it because McDonald's sued me for illegal use of the double arches."

"Why doesn't money bring happiness? Because if you have a billion dollars, almost anyone will be a bitch."

"I was trying to work out which of the Thai girls at a bar was actually a girl, and got it embarrassingly wrong... ...I felt such a dick."

"I went camping with swingers It was fucking intense"

"""Mommy, why do I have black skin and you have white skin?"" ""Honey, when I think back to that night, you're lucky you don't bark."""

"Granny Smith must have been a shitty person because her apples suck."

"There are three different types of people in the world... those who are good at math, and those who Just can never grasp it.."

"Why I don't joke about politicians? Because I don't joke about jokes."

"I'm exactly like Rocky in that, I challenge people to fight while I'm slurring my words."