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Joke of the Day
"After I saw that my wife ""Checked In"" to the mall I called to report her credit cards stolen."
Next Joke
"I have two personal trainers... One on each foot!"
"What are sardines? A little fish that smells like fingers."
"I've got 40 raisins in my savings account ...oh no wait, that's my currant account."
"Please help me with a punchline to: ""How do you find an amish guy on the internet..."" I've got nothin, but I feel like there could be something there. Any help is appreciated."
"Nothing screams DUI like wearing a really nice suit on a city bus."
"What's the difference between being hungry and horny? Where you put the cucumber."
"A cig takes 7 minutes off your life A piece of bacon takes 9 minutes off your life According to my calculations I should have died in 1812"
"What's the hardest part of telling your parents that you're gay? getting up their front stairs in your rollerblades"
"[at the vets] He's really bad. He can't fly. ""He's a cat though."" [very sarcastically] oh I'm sorry is this the vets or the excuses clinic?"