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Joke of the Day

"What are sardines? A little fish that smells like fingers."

"I tried yoga and I think my downward dog looked more like winnie the pooh getting stuck in rabbit's door."

"Just got home from the doctor, apparently I have a couple of kidney stones... It should be okay though, he told me that *these two shall pass.*"

"Every tweet has 140 characters and if some of you learned the difference between it's and its you'd have one to spare."

"FIRST HUMAN BOY: I can lift a monster with one hand. SECOND HUMAN BOY: Bet you can't! FIRST HUMAN BOY: Find me a monster with one hand and I'll prove it."

"I have an idea for a website where people seeking to share their views and ideas can get together and ignore each other."

"Two cats are swimming across a river One's name is ""one two three"", and the other's name is ""Un deux trois"". One two three made it across but Un deux trois cat sank"

"Why are your eyes covered in ketchup? I'm often asked by people: ""Why are your eyes covered in ketchup?"" So I tell them it's because Heinz sight is 20/20."

"I'm friend with 25 letter of the alphabet... I don't know why... -Chris Turner"

"Eating pussy is like going on a roadtrip with your wife You don't want to stop and ask for directions and you dont want to admit that a handheld device could do a better job than you"