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Joke of the Day

"I used to be a sadistic necrophiliac with a penchant for beastiality... Then I realized I was just beating a dead horse."

"The downside of having friends who love sarcasm and irony is that when we make plans I'm never entirely sure we really made plans."

"What do vegan zombies crave? GRRAAAAINS!!"

"My boss says I can be a lousy worker at times And I take that as an invitation"

"What is steam? Its what you get when you put water on my mixtape"

"What's bright, red and orange and looks good on hippies? Fire."

"Have you heard about the collapse of the boxer shorts industry? apparently it was quite brief."

"If you watch Harry Potter backwards, Voldemort is really good at zapping people back to life and turning Harry into a baby."

"If I'm a baker, you're the dough.. I knead you."

"I bet you vegetarians don't even feel guilty eating baby carrots. Barbarians."