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Joke of the Day

"I like my women like I like my dick... ...kept in a dark place and taken out to be beaten every once in a while"

"I saw my buddy Barry Goldstein at the casino the other night. It was very un-jew-sual."

"You hear Charlie sheen is starring on a new show. It's called Two and a half T-cells"

"Boss: Are you high? [Me watching him evaporate] I hope so."

"When you run out of milk from a cow you move to the UDDER one."

"Why did the dyslexic man have slime on his face? Because I told him a good joke."

"Him: Mm girl, back that ass up. Me: Like on iCloud or something?"

"I was going to make a gay joke.... butt fuck it"

"So my great-grandpa died at Auschwitz.... An overused joke fell on top of him and crushed him."

"Why was the garbage man arrested? Because he was bin laden."