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Joke of the Day

"What can run out before you've had a chance to use it? Slaves."

"Are you a computer whiz? it seems you know how to turn my software to hardware."

"What did the doctor say about the organ donor which died from a clotted artery? ""at least his death wasn't in vein"""

"All it takes is 10 minutes without electricity to prove my total uselessness as a person."

"I've spotted six Pokemon today but I don't have the Pokemon GO app so it may just be that I need my new meds adjusted."

"Have you heard the one about the bed? No? That's 'cause it hasn't been made yet."

"Give it to me straight ""I'd really like to have sex with you-"" Now give it to me gay ""-r boyfriend."""

"What do you call.... nuts on the wall? Walnuts. nuts on your chest? Chestnuts. nuts on your chin? Chinnuts? No! A dick in your mouth."

"How do you fit an elephant in a Safeway bag? hint: take the ""S"" out of ""safe"" and the ""F"" out of ""way"""

"I have a Polish friend who is roadie for a rock band I have a Czech one too. Czech one too. Czech one too."