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Joke of the Day

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? None, feminists can't change anything"

"My wife told me I'm an emotional, emotional, insecure coward. Now I feel depressed. I don't know what to do. I'm afraid she'll leave me any time. **** Dammit, I spoiled it with the double emotional."

"There are 10 different types of people in the world Those that understand binary, and those that don't"

"Q: How can you get out of a locked room with a piano in it? A: Play the piano until you find the right key."

"(Wedding) Priest: They've written their vows Wife: *recites beautiful vows* Me: *takes out notecard* I love you and cheese the same amount"

"Three decades of playing Tetris have apparently not improved our nation's ability to stow overhead luggage."

"Wife: ""you think all that sugar you fed the kids this morning was a wise idea?"" Me: ""why?"" W: M: W: ""they're running along side the car"""

"I need to lay off the caffeine. My neighbor keeps complaining that I'm tackling her much more than usual"

"You know what they say about non sequiturs... I LOVE pineapple upside down cake! (I just made this up today, and I'm so proud. I told my coworkers, but they told me to stop doing drugs.)"

"What's the difference between Bill Cosby and a Snickers Bar? One wants you to put their chocolatey nutty goodness in your mouth, and the other is a child rapist."