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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend broke up with me. She said ""I'm sorry, but you're just too immature."" I looked her dead in the face and said ""Get the fuck outa my treehouse!"""

"What were the redditor's last thoughts at suicide-bomber camp? Wow, this really blew up, thanks guys!"

"When I die My only wish is that I die in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming and yelling for help like the passengers in his car."

"Q. Why do bakers work so hard? A. Because they need the dough"

"Me: Excuse me sir, can you please forward my X-ray and breast exam results to my doctor Airport security:..."

"A started a blog about ADHD... ...it's going to have recipes and I went to the Alamo."

"The Dalai Lama and Gandhi aren't the same? I thought they were basically Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana. I feel like people are messing with me."

"Stupidity: Running over a string 10 times with the vacuum cleaner, picking it up, looking at it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance."

"What's the hardest thing about eating vegetables? The wheelchairs!"

"My Christian friend asked 4 proof there is no God.nnI pointed out Adam Sandler is a multimillionaire movie starnnNow my friend's an atheist"