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Joke of the Day

"Why was the dolphin happy and the shark depressed? The sharks life lacked porpoise."

"What does a pregnant teenager and her baby have in common? They both thought ""my Mom's gonna kill me."""

"So I opened an egg today and something came out. That's the yolk."

"Sex so bad, Taylor Swift breaks up with you and doesn't even write a song about it."

"There once a website called toogle now it is google"

"My mom asked me if I would still date a girl who had cancer and lost her hair from chemo. i told her, ""Of course, that just means she has better head!"""

"Note to future self: Tequila is a liar. You do not sound exactly like Axl Rose & the people at karaoke will not catch you if you stage dive"

"Christianity: One woman's lie about having an affair that got seriously out of hand."

"I tried to blow a hair off my laptop screen so now there's some spit next to the hair."

"COP: You seen an escaped evil octopus? ME: No COP: [looks up] Nice chandelier ME: Thanks COP: Why is it wet? ME: Um COP: And holding 8 guns?"