205522

Joke of the Day

"so I used to read /r/nosleep to get scared Now all I have to do is remember than Hillary is still running"

"My sister didnt think I could make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face as I drove pastah'"

"Mr. and Mrs. Needle were so proud of their son when he grew up to be an upstanding citizen. While growing up, he was a little prick."

"That stupid guy I have stupid friends gotta admit.But i have a stupid one. Yesterday he asked me did anybody die and survive??!?!?!??"

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? ""It's going to take me awhile to get hard. I just got laid by a chick."""

"sorry i'm late, i have terrible time management skills and zero perception of distance as it pertains to speed of travel"

"Want to hear a joke? Your government is competent and uses your tax dollars efficiently."

"I have a sister named Virginia... We called her Virgin for short, but not for long!"

"How do you catch a Douchebag? JerkBait."

"What did the Men's Right's Activist say when he left his piano out in the rain? MUH SOGGY KEYS!"