184185

Joke of the Day

"sorry i'm late, i have terrible time management skills and zero perception of distance as it pertains to speed of travel"

"What do you call a drunk muslim woman? Stoned."

"How do you kill a Grammar Nazi? mkae tehm brun tiehr eeys owt Eidt: sepleinlg croertcoin"

"My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo."

"What happened to the man who owned a riding academy? Business kept falling off!"

"What do you call a banker who is also a skilled fisherman? A loanely master-baiter."

"My wife wants the living room walls to be something neutral. I'm painting Switzerland."

"Why did the monster stop playing with his brother? He got tired of kicking him around."

"Lets give each other cute nicknames like, 'Plaintiff' and 'Defendant'"

"Who was the least guilty President of the them all? Lincoln. He was in-a-cent."