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Joke of the Day

"Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic... ...and the mental health system is failing me miserably."

"Have you seen Stevie wonders house? Neither has he"

"What's more inbred than English monarchs? Wheat."

"A man with a sheep A man goes home with a sheep under his arm and says ""this is the pig I've been fucking."" His wife says "" that's not a pig, that's a sheep."" The man says ""I wasn't talking to you."""

"After I clear my browser history I do a quick google search for things like ""feeding the hungry"" and ""How to thank a loving wife"""

"Everyone in ""Star Wars"". Everyone in ""The Muppets"". Everyone in ""Game of Thrones"". This is now the first tweet with over 140 characters."

"What does Green Day say before bed? Green night"

"""I hope this makes them name a radioactive turtle after me"" Michelangelo thought as he painted the Sistine Chapel ""that would be hella rad"""

"How did Charlie Sheen contract HIV? He blew a Piston in his car."

"If two people on opposite sides of the world drop a piece of bread on the ground at the same time the Earth briefly becomes a sandwich"